Beware of red flag romances

In light of the whole McNair/Kazemi murder-suicide, there's a lot to be said about his mistresses mental state. I believe that I read that somewhere, her co-workers were saying that she was depressed. I also heard that she thought that McNair was seeing another woman other than her which might have caused her to snap. It makes you wonder if there were any red flags that might have alerted McNair, or was it possible that he did see the red flags and was trying to break things off. One has to wonder.

Moving away from the McNair situation, I want to address potential red flags to look for, especially right now being that its summer time. See, in my opinion, I believe that most relationships, or "hook ups", start somewhere between spring time and summer. The reason why I say that is because once the weather starts getting nice, people start to venture out to parks and other outdoor activities. By the time summer rolls around, people are having pool parties, cook outs, or just heading to the beach. Also, during this time, college kids are coming home and, they're bringing their college friends to meet their hometown buddies. This making it convenient to make new friends and possible romantic hook ups.

Let's start with the red flags. A common one is someone who is being to clingy or wanting to spend all of their time with you. There's nothing wrong with that, but there are times when you need to give each other some space. If the person you are going out with or "hooking up" with is starting to question where you're going to be and who you are hanging out with, all of the time, I suggest you cut the cord immediately. What's going to end up happening is that he/she is going to want to "self invite" themselves everywhere you go as a means to see what you are doing when you go out. This is nothing but insecurity and if it continued will cause nothing but problems. I suggest having a sit down with the person and letting them know that you are not interested in trying to be with anyone else and that you need to be trusted. Another reason why a person may always be in your business is because they might be cheating on you or doing something that they're not supposed to be doing. This is where the guilt is coming in and they are feeling since they are cheating on you, then you must be cheating on them. As I said before, another red flag rears its ugly head. I suggest you strap up your Nikes and Just Do It!

Here's another one. A person keeps saying to you that you two are meant to be together and that they can't live without you, red flag. Hello, you just met a week ago. How could they possibly come to that conclusion? They were living before they met you. This smells like a psycho to me. If anybody is telling you that you are their soul mate after meeting at a bar or a keg party is definitely bad news.

Also beware of your newfound friend sitting at your doorstep when you arrive home from work. I know someone who likes to pop up at girl's houses that he just met, unannounced. The funny thing about this is that they never give him an address. They just give him the vicinity of where they live or a subdivision and he just drives around in his car looking for the girl's car parked in front of a house or apartment building. He would also call their jobs and often show up there. This is pitiful and borderline stalking. Women and men, for your own safety, never give anyone that you just met any type of information that can lead them to find out where you live or work. This is common sense. You are only setting yourself up for sleepless nights and possibly a court appearance for the issuance of an order of protection.

Another sign to look out for is the kind of person who wants you to be a reciprocator. This person will often tell you that they love you or miss you and if you don't respond in a mutual fashion, this person may become agitated or act sad. They may say things like, "Oh, you don't love me back?", or, "You're not going to miss me when I'm gone? I'm going to miss you!" I personally had an experience with this one before. She used to always ask me how come I don't call her "baby" or give her pet names like she would give me. I thought it was ridiculous. The reason why they tend to do this is because they are insecure about themselves and or the relationship. They are using this technique to somehow get comfort in themselves by hearing someone else telling them that they are loved or missed. It's actually a false sense of security, because the person is being forced to say something that they don't really mean.

I have a big problem with people who try to introduce potential mates to their family, friends or kids too soon. When you introduce people early, it gives them the false impression that you two are actually a couple when you may not be, especially when you've only known the person for a short amount of time. That's not even long enough to introduce them to your pet rat. Now, if the family is aware that you two are only dating or just friends, then it's perfectly fine. Just keep in mind, be very careful who you bring around your friends and family, especially when it comes to your children. Kids are very impressionable and can become attached easily. Also, you don't want to bring around a serial killer or a pedophile unknowingly. You'll be amazed at what people find out about their mate after the fact.

It's ok to be in love or have a summer fling, but you can save yourself a lot of headache and heartache if you follow these simple rules.